Hey you guys. I am pregnant. Did you know that? I have been pregnant for what feels like my entire life and I’m ready for it to be over.
This week was freezer meals week and that was a big fucking mistake. I have this habit of feeling like if I establish something, or even just say to myself, “oh I’m going to do whatever thing” then I have to do it or I’m a failure or a liar. This happened to me if I decided some distance I was going to run, back when I still did that. If I say, to myself, in my own head, “I’m going to run 7 miles today” and then I fall in the first mile and rip my pants and am bleeding from the elbow, I will still do the 7 miles because I’m insane and I made some weird OCD contract with myself. That was what happened with freezer meals week.
It was really hot. It was not a good week to stand over a hot stove cooking 5 meals to freeze. But I did it. Because there is something wrong with me.
I made chili, chicken/rice/vegetable casserole, minestrone soup, beef stew, and sausage bean soup. I didn’t follow all those recipes to the letter. Like the chili recipe calls for turkey but my grocery store only had beef so it became beef chili. I didn’t put the pasta in the minestrone, I’m going to add it when I reheat it so the pasta doesn’t get all mushy. I used rutabaga instead of purple top turnips in the beef stew, and I couldn’t find a ham bone so I used sweet Italian pork sausage in the bean soup. Whatever, though, cooking is great because you can kind of do whatever you want.
But cooking is horrible when it’s 90 degrees out with 100% humidity and sweat is dripping from your butt to your heels (This is a horrible thing that happens to humans, why have we not evolved out of butt/leg sweat? Let’s get on that, Science.). On Saturday I made the last two meals I had planned and I had two emotional breakdowns in which I told Billy that I am starting to resent the baby and I yelled at my mom on the phone for asking how the baby is, because THE BABY IS FINE, HE IS IN THE BEST PLACE EVER, MY DELIGHTFUL WOMB, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW MY SCIATICA IS DOING? BECAUSE IT’S TERRIBLE.
I feel like if this were a more widely-read blog I would get a lot of mean comments for admitting that I resent the baby who lives inside me, but the only people who read this blog are my aunts, Billy’s coworkers, and my friends from high school so I think I’m all set. Fuck this baby.
Not really, we saw him on an ultrasound today and he’s the best. I’m just grumpy.
Fuck sciatica, is more accurate.
Anyway, here are some pictures of my freezer meals nightmare.
I thought these beans looked so pretty. It’s a 16-bean mix that became the sausage bean soup. So many kinds of beans!
This became the chicken/rice/vegetable casserole. I think that one is going to be especially delicious because it’s full of wholesome things like brown rice and broccoli, in addition to a shit ton of sour cream and cheese. It was really hard to make because my fingers don’t work because of carpal tunnel syndrome and grating cheese with fucked up fingers is difficult and dangerous. Oh also, at some point I cut off one of my fingernails while I was chopping vegetables. If you get the bite with fingernail in it, you win a prize.
I’m sure I’ll appreciate having all this stuff in a few weeks, but it was a goddamn hassle making it happen.
One thing that is not a goddamn hassle is this kitten that lives in my house now. Whoops!
Yeah so we have a kitten now. Her name is Petunia and we love her even though she is very playful and we are used to a dog that sleeps all day long. I didn’t mention this earlier because I’m afraid of people being judgmental, but I already said fuck my baby in this post so that ship has pretty much sailed.
In other news, my doctor told me today that since I have high blood pressure (which is very well controlled with medication right now, but even so) they won’t let me go past 39 weeks. So baby and I effectively have a new due date of October 13th. Hooray! Pregnancy complications for the win! GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME.
I used to be afraid of having an induction but I am not afraid of that anymore. I am afraid of having a baby inside me for any longer than absolutely fucking necessary. According to an ultrasound measurement today, the baby already weighs as much as two and a half Petunias. Let’s not let this thing get out of control.