Since I hate Facebook lately, I’ve started following Twitter more than I used to. It’s fun! It’s clever! Comedians are on it so it is frequently funny. However, I’m a little slow on the uptake with the live tweeting thing? I get it, you tweet stuff while you watch TV or, like, are on the red carpet or at a hockey game or whatever. Mostly it’s stuff that’s on TV? And it is about instant gratification. And community, even, because we’re all in this together. Why not feel like we’re all connected on our too-short journey through this vale of tears?
I haven’t live tweeted anything yet. But! I have some ideas! Of stuff to live tweet! What do you guys think of these ideas?!
Did Daisy Poop Today?
Throughout the day, I will live tweet whether or not my dog Daisy has pooped. This idea has great potential because not only will I tweet whether she has pooped or not, but also the consistency, location, and frequency of poopings. Why should it only be me and Billy who are privy to this information? The world wants to know.
How Fat Do I Feel?
This one is fairly self-explanatory. Do I feel fat right now? How fat? This live tweet will include such gems as “Don’t feel fat but am ravenously hungry, going to buy a big cookie #howfatdoIfeel” followed shortly by “Feel very fat #howfatdoIfeel”.
The First Five to Ten Minutes of Live! With Kelly and Michael
Most mornings, while drinking coffee, I will catch five to ten minutes of Live! With Kelly and Michael on TV. This is for the follower on the go, as it will only last five to ten minutes and will usually consist of one or two very boring tweets. ”Kelly’s hair is weird today #first5to10ofKellyandMichael”.
What Are People Live Tweeting On Sunday Night?
This one is a real gem. On a given Sunday night there are many events taking place and shows for people to watch on their TVs! This would involve lots of action packed drama. Is Patton Oswalt tweeting about Downton Abbey or is he DVRing it? What is winning the live tweet battle: Girls or Sherlock? They have exactly the same audience, so, the competition is stiff! ”Annie is live tweeting Downton Abbey.” “Mindy Kaling is live tweeting the red carpet at the Emmys.” “My cousin is live tweeting a football game.” etc! Action packed! It’s also informative. You may think to yourself, gosh, I do not know what Mike is talking about. I can help you! ”Mike is live tweeting something about baseball.” What about Patrick? Patrick’s tweets can be very confusing! ”Patrick is live tweeting a basketball game.” Oh. Thanks for clearing that up.