This morning I went for a run. As I was eking out my two miles in twenty-one minutes I had some thoughts. Here they are. (RIVETING STUFF.)
Do you think we’re supposed to be all big-shouldered and hipless? Like those little gymnasts? Or even the swimmers? Are non-athletes the wrong shape? Or are athletes the weird ones? Why so much shoulder all the time?
If Bela Karolyi were on a bike next to me right now I’d be able to go faster.
I hope Daisy isn’t howling and disturbing the neighbors.
Daisy pooped VERY WEIRDLY in the house this morning after pacing like a maniac in the hallway, which I should have known was a sign that her tummy hurt, but I’m very new at this. Also Billy gave her new food this morning and that animal must have a sensitive stomach or something because that shit (literally!) was gross.
I have to get dog food today.
Daisy also pooped at our friends’ house on Saturday night which was super uncool. One positive about it, though, was that she pooped because she was having SO MUCH FUN playing with our friends’ dog. There are worse things than being so happy that you poop.
Run run run run run run.
I think it’s dumb when people put those 13.1 stickers on the back of their cars. It’s like saying “I did half of something that people find impressive.” Also, you probably walked a lot of it.
I want to run a marathon someday. I will for sure put one of those 26.2 stickers on my car. I’ll probably get like fifteen of them, put one in every room of the house and on all my trapper keepers. Too bad I don’t use trapper keepers anymore. They were so handy for displaying things so that you could brag about your accomplishments without being so obvious about it.
Run run run.
If my mom runs faster than me at our next 5K I might lose it. She’s gaining on me. She’s been training better than I have. She has my time at our last 5K memorized. That was a bad race for me. It was the day after St. Patrick’s Day. I had a hangover because I’m a HUMAN BEING. What was I supposed to do? Not have a hangover? It was terrible.
That’s what competition is about. Like those girls on the US gymnastics team. You support each other but you also want to win.
Oh thank god, I’m almost home. I feel like my heart is exploding.