Why I Recently Unsubscribed From Urban Outfitters Emails
by emily
1. It’s not 2006 and I’m not 21 years old.
2. I no longer have anything to prove nor any sexual partners to entice via intentionally messy-looking clothing and a bedroom covered in tchotchkes.
3. None of the dresses have backs anymore. What am I going to not wear a bra?
4. I have never been able to wear these and now I no longer want to.
5. These are pants.
6. These too.
7. Kitschy clothes hangers have no place in the home of an adult woman.
8. I used to imagine that I was somebody’s manic pixie dream girl, instead of who I actually am, which is a privileged woman from Connecticut who likes (has always liked!) Pottery Barn.
You know you secretly love that cat hanger. It looks like it is wearing the shirt!!! Amazing!
4. I still kind of secretly wish I could wear those shorts that are shorter than the pockets. It will never happen.
5 and 6. I refuse to believe that those two items of clothing are pants.
7. The cat hanger frightens me, and I love all things kitty.
8. I’ve never seen it but always felt like Elizabethtown wishes it was Garden State. And also I’d still kind of like to be someone’s Manic Pixie Dream Girl. But, you know, Pottery Barn. And Willams-Sonoma. And Crate & Barrel.
Elizabethtown has a great soundtrack, though.
Also this: http://www.racialicious.com/2011/10/10/an-open-letter-to-urban-outfitters-on-columbus-day/
Urban Outfitters sucks.
LOL, but I think you are someone’s manic, pixie, dream girl.