Why I Recently Unsubscribed From Urban Outfitters Emails
1. It’s not 2006 and I’m not 21 years old.
2. I no longer have anything to prove nor any sexual partners to entice via intentionally messy-looking clothing and a bedroom covered in tchotchkes.
4. I have never been able to wear these and now I no longer want to.
5. These are pants.
6. These too.
7. Kitschy clothes hangers have no place in the home of an adult woman.
8. I used to imagine that I was somebody’s manic pixie dream girl, instead of who I actually am, which is a privileged woman from Connecticut who likes (has always liked!) Pottery Barn.