Auditions That Resulted In Rejections
by emily
Audition: Honey Dew Donuts commercial.
Likely Reason for Rejection: Smile not toothy enough.
Audition: Community theater production of a Tom Stoppard play.
Likely Reason for Rejection: Not good enough at acting, palpable bad attitude.
Audition: Sandra Bullock/Melissa McCarthy buddy cop movie.
Likely Reason for Rejection: Headshot misleadingly presents me as somewhat dangerous-looking. Am not, in fact, dangerous-looking. Unless you’re looking for somebody who’s dangerously irresponsible about long-term financial planning. Or who drives through metro Boston like she’s starring in 5 Fast 5 Furious. Not, like, somebody who would insult a cop.
Audition: Verizon Wireless corporate video.
Likely Reason for Rejection: Took direction to “not be over the top, just conversational” too literally. Voice is monotone and bored-sounding. Also, smile not toothy enough.
Auditioning is fun when I imagine the blog I’ll write about it later!
Auditioning is like going shopping for something that you almost assuredly know you will not find.
Write some roles for yourself, you great playwright you.
That sentence sounded better in my head. Take 2.
Write some roles for yourself. You’re a great playwright.
uh…forget it.
Honey Dew donuts doesn’t even have good coffee. They are like Dunkin Donuts for IDIOTS. HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE THE TOOTHYNESS OF MY WIFES MOUTH!!!!