28 Weeks

by admin

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Who got a full-length mirror and doesn’t know how to style her new haircut? Me. It’s me.

Also I think this picture is funny because I put my hip hand in a fist so that I wouldn’t pull on my dress, making the stripes go weird, and it made me look like a superhero a little bit, which I don’t hate. Super Pregnant! She flies through the air with the greatest of effort and panting.

I’m 28 weeks pregnant today which is good and fine. Some places say it’s the third trimester, officially, and some places say the third trimester isn’t until next week. And some places said the third trimester started last week. I don’t know and it doesn’t matter. I will be induced at 38 weeks and I love knowing that. Again, thank you, life-threatening high blood pressure. Just kidding, I wish I didn’t have high blood pressure like a 60-year-old man who eats bacon all day for the rest of my life and that I didn’t have to take pills forever, but this is my lot in life and at the very least it satisfies my need to control things because I know I will be induced at 38 weeks, at the latest. So 10 weeks to go. What’s 10 weeks? Barely anything. A little more than 2 months. Evan can kind of count to 10. I mean, he is a baby genius, but it’s not that high a number, is what I’m saying. An almost-2-year-old can count up to it. Maybe he repeats five a few times in the wrong places, but you get what I’m saying. I’m basically already done.

I’ve been feeling huge surges of energy at, like, 8:30pm the past few days, which means I stay up late hanging (i.e. making Billy hang while I supervise) pictures on the walls and setting up our home office (desk in bedroom) and writing one time! And then I get in bed at 10:45pm and can’t fall asleep because my legs feel weird and I have too many thoughts in my brain. I’m pretty sure this is called nesting. I also want to make a thing to hang on the wall in the new baby’s room from that Kurt Vonnegut quote about babies. Wait, let me find it…

hello babies

There you go. But not like that. I want it to look cool.

Do you guys like how this blog post is, like, in real time? Like we’re just having a conversation? It’s a little one-sided, this conversation. Feel free to chime in anytime, guys! JK you can’t. You are my captive audience and this is my blog and I DO THE TALKING HERE.

Anyway, I want to put that quote on the wall in a cool and stylish way and I think that means I have to get crafty. Nesting! My friend just recently had a baby and her husband has spent a bunch of time painstakingly crafting little plush Fantastic Mr. Fox characters, because nesting. Last time, because nesting, I got up on a very precarious stool and hung a mobile over Evan’s crib, while home alone. Which was not safe at all. But nesting waits for no man.

House update: it’s good. We have pictures on the walls. Not all the pictures on all the walls, but some. There is a dumpster in our driveway, which I don’t love, and the outside still needs to be painted and the yard is a friggin mess, but everything else is kind of close to done! It’s a nice little house and I like it.

Organs update: my placenta is still considered “low-lying” which means it is one centimeter from my cervix, and it should really be two centimeters from my cervix. This is a big improvement because it previously was completely covering my cervix, which is dangerous and bad. If it doesn’t move to two centimeters away by the time I’m 36 weeks, they will schedule me for a C-section at 37 weeks, which I find utterly terrifying! I am very, very afraid of having a C-section, not because of anything, I know a lot of people have had successful C-sections, so many people, so many of my friends, but I’m scareddddddddd. I don’t want to get cut. I have this thing about getting cut open. I don’t like it. It’s a weird thing I have. I like my parts to not be cut open. Call me crazy!

But yeah you can find lots of pictures of C-sections on the internet if you look for them, but DO NOT LOOK FOR THEM, THEY ARE SO SO SO SCARY. Eeeeee I do not want. I know it will be fine if I have to get one, but yikes. Yikes yikes yikes. I’m a little surprised that I feel this way, honestly, because a C-section is the ultimate in control. And I love control, as I’ve mentioned here many times. And a small part of me would be happy if I had to get a C-section because it would mean one less week of being pregnant. But no, I maintain that I’m scared of them and I do not want one. If there was a wishbone here and I was wishing on it I would wish to not have to have a C-section. Ooh wishbone reminds me of Thanksgiving. Yum. I can’t wait for Thanksgiving.

Let’s think Thanksgiving thoughts to drown out the C-section thoughts. Also, I welcome stories from women who have had C-sections about how great and easy they were! Please feel free to set me straight. I would love to not be scared of this anymore.

Turkey. Mashed potatoes. Green bean casserole. Okay, I feel better already.